I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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