i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
