I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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