Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
