Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
