he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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