absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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