Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize