your parents love me but you hate me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
