Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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