Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
