i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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