wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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