And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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