1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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