I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
jump out the window naked night went bad
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