i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
