did you get engaged???
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
