he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize