She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
