So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
