Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
