well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We are two peas in an std pod
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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