so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
