he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
