OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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