Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
