I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
