i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
