Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
