Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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