I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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