We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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