I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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