no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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