Duck Duck Cougar?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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