...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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