The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
