i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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