I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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