Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
