Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
