You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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