I'm drive I can fine osifer
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
