You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
