you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
