she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
