My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
