it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
why is half of my head shaved?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
