I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
