Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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