You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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