When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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