My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
