It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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