Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
