Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize