I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
