i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
