Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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