Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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