overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think i got beer on your cat.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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