That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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