Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
