i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize