I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
