My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
