she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
