Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
