Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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