im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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